


Cordial Christmas Comfort

by JJBATrash



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Fluff, I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME, Other, and so is every fgo player who is, but then ran away into some trans affirmation cause i like indulging myself way too much, ever remember that da vinci is literally the Trans Icon we deserve in this fandom, hope someone can also get some warm fuzzies reading it though, kind of self indulgent, some cute dumb fluffy stuff, this started out as an idea similar to that asmr martha fic, trans fujimaru or genderfluid fujimaru is great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21986455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJBATrash/pseuds/JJBATrash
Summary: When you can change your appearance at will, you're bound to start asking some questions about yourself. Luckily, the beautiful and universal genius Leonardo Da Vinci is here to help!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Cordial Christmas Comfort

Christmas Day, 2019.  


Chaldea Observatory.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Ritsuka Fujimaru paced outside of a certain genius' workshop, feet unable to stay still as anxiety guided them back and forth in the hallway.

_Knock. Knock. **Knock.**_

What the hell was she doing in there? Surely she could hear the Master waiting? Their footfalls weren't silent. And they had checked the Command Room first, so they _knew_ the Acting Director was not there instead. 

_Knock. **Kno—**_

The door slid open, and the beaming face of the Renaissance Woman greeted Ritsuka.

"Welcome to Da Vinci's Workshop~! I... eh? Ritsuka, you look upset. Is something wrong?" Her expression was one of concern as she gestured the young Master inside, sliding the door closed behind them.

Gesturing to an empty seat, Da Vinci leaned against the workshop table, resting her chin on her right hand, her gauntlet-covered left fidgeting with a glistening rainbow polyhedral stone. Her eyes shifted slowly from the brilliant stone back to her ward. In the time since she had shifted her gaze, the young Master standing before them had changed their appearance. Short black hair was now a bright orange, a pigtail worn on one side, and the lithe form had become slightly curvier. The savior of humanity was fidgeting, their fingers twiddling idly.

"I see..." the Caster tapped her index finger against the side of her jaw, nodding her head. "So, how often has this been happening, young Master?"

"Um... well, ever since the week before Christmas." Ritsuka's androgynous voice replied. "I haven't felt... uh, right in either form for a while, but I didn't want to interrupt anyone's holiday, so I... I waited." Ritsuka paused, swallowing down their anxiety. "But I... I couldn't wait anymore a-a-and I thought... you would be the best person to talk to about... about this sort of t-thing."

Nod, nod. The Servant took in the words of the young Chaldean Master and let the silence hang in the air for a moment, before straightening her back and pocketing the iridescent jewel, a gentle tinkling of jewels jumbling together coming from the artist's pocket. With a clap of her hands, she offered a bright smile.

"Well, I can safely say you did come to the right place! After all, not only am I a genius, but beautiful to boot, and I was in your shoes when I was first summoned as well." Da Vinci spun once, her cape flowing with her movement.

Ritsuka gave a small smile at the flamboyant maneuver. "Y-yeah... that's why I only could think of you. Mash was supportive and helpful, of course, but she couldn't quite understand how I feel."

The Universal Woman sympathetically pat the young Mage on the shoulder. "Of course. I can't guarantee I will be able to definitively answer your questions either, but please, do tell me what's on your mind. What caused this indecisiveness? What makes you uncomfortable?"

Ritsuka took a moment to think, fidgeting in their chair. "Well, I haven't been able to feel right in either form. I thought if I was male I would feel strong, or if I was female I would be able to feel alright letting my emotions guide me. But lately, no matter what I change into, I feel like I'm missing something. I don't feel complete, but I can only change between one or..." Once again the Master wore black spiked hair and a more muscular frame. "...the other." Humanity's final Master, who could stare horrible figures from beyond time and space, who fought against despots and rogues alike, who met with mythical heroes and saints, was now fighting an enemy that couldn't be beaten with sheer force. With a sigh, Ritsuka forced their eyes to move up from the floor, and met the gaze of the Caster.

"I totally understand what you're going through." Da Vinci began.

"When I was summoned, I could have been summoned how I looked in my life, as a masculine figure. Being the genius I am, though, I figured could do something different. I don't necessarily regret being born a man, not with the life and career I led." A soft laugh. "I hardly think my works would have survived or been appreciated nearly so much if I wasn't. But, since I had the chance, when I got summoned, I decided to make a choice: I changed my Spirit Origin to reflect the epitome of beauty to me: the universal beauty that is the Mona Lisa. And so... here I am. And you know? Even I thought I made a rash choice at first!"

Ritsuka blinked. "Really? But all the time I knew you you've been so confident and sure of yourself. Sure of your beauty and your greatness! I can't imagine you ever felt anything but happy about changing your look..."

Da Vinci chuckled, shaking her head gently. "That's a while after I got summoned." Her eyes softened as she recollected. "By the time we met, I was at Chaldea for a while, and I had already decided about myself. No one else knows this..." she trailed off for a moment. "Except _him_ , that is, and he's..." Da Vinci brought her right hand to her left tricep, and her expression was, very briefly, one of sorrow and loss. "But, he's gone now, so you'll be the only one who truly knows: I was honestly really torn when I first appeared like this. I kept thinking, "What if I made the wrong decision? What if I feel stuck like this? What if I don't actually like it, and it's just a whim that backfired?" She looked meaningfully at Ritsuka.

At this, Chaldea's Master gave a small smile and nodded. "That's what I feel like! I keep thinking that each change is wrong somehow, that I'm wrong for doing it, and that being unable to pick one means that I'm weird and that I made a mistake!" Another quick shift to the more feminine form. "I keep feeling like, it's incomplete, whichever I choose!"

Da Vinci nodded again, patting Ritsuka's head. "I know. You know what I did to combat those feelings, though?" When the Mage shook their head "no", the Servant replied, "I stopped thinking about it. I know that's a tall order, but that's honestly what I did. I stopped thinking about and looking for what was missing or off about it, and focused on what I liked about it. I loved seeing the beauty that was my greatest muse, mingled with my intellect. In fact, it inspired me all over again! That's _why_ I've been able to do so well here, inventing things to help out with the Singularities and life in Chaldea in general. I became my own inspiration, my own muse, and now... I'm truly invincible!"

Silence hung in the air for a while, Chaldea's Master and its second Servant simply seemingly suspended in space. Ritsuka didn't speak for several minutes, changing positions many times; from putting their face in their hands, to laying their head on the table, to resting their chin on their palms. Finally, they broke the silence first. "So, all I have to do, is not think about it?" They asked. "Will I be happy like that?"

Da Vinci shook her head. "I can't promise you one way or the other that you will be happy. But learning to accept yourself, for who you are, how you are, no matter what you look like, is the first step. I can help you with that, if you want. And from there, you can figure out the rest. Whether you settle for one, the other, or something else entirely, all I want is for you to find what makes you happy to be you, Ritsuka Fujimaru." She offered her hand, and a kind smile.

Ritsuka slowly placed their hand in hers, a small smile on their own face.

"Thank you, dear Da Vinci. I owe you so much."

The Servant only shook her head. "Merry Christmas, Ritsuka."

"Merry Christmas."

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy some delayed Christmas cozies. Hope you all have had a lovely holiday, and I'll be seeing you in 2020~ I have many ideas, both fluffy and nsfw, that I want to write so expect many many things to come. ^^


End file.
